I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
