we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
