I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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