I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
