member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
