I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
