You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
