Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
