we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
