That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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