awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
