wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
