At least make sure they are 18
Why
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just had sex bonerless
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
