Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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