i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
