goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
A+ Viking dick
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