He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
