I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize