So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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