i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
