he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
