well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
