Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
