kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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