I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
they need to just BURY HIM!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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