If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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