she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
