Soap is not a condiment
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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