u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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