I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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