He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
