so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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