just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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