im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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