yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
