i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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