meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
