the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
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