I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important