I wannas sexs uuuuu
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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