I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Why did my mother make you get naked?