After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
