he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
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my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
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Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety