he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
