I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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