I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend