Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo! http://tfl.nu/f58l
  Replies (4) Good night (1975) Bad night (2621)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  from now on my penis is your penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): from now on my penis is your penis http://tfl.nu/ipfj
  Replies (19) Good night (2898) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour

  (513): View more from Ohio

  its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour (513): its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem http://tfl.nu/ygfh
  Replies (6) Good night (934) Bad night (3143)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee. http://tfl.nu/dm1b
  Replies (44) Good night (1809) Bad night (6855)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night. http://tfl.nu/phgw
  Replies (73) Good night (8517) Bad night (1416)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex http://tfl.nu/jqzk
  Replies (5) Good night (2872) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Just got motor boated by a horse in the street

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Just got motor boated by a horse in the street http://tfl.nu/nm8s
  Replies (9) Good night (1640) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult http://tfl.nu/oh0e
  Replies (1) Good night (1522) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall. http://tfl.nu/azun
  Replies (5) Good night (663) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird. http://tfl.nu/mrcn
  Replies (10) Good night (1290) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it. http://tfl.nu/4zf0
  Replies (4) Good night (652) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow... (862): This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am. http://tfl.nu/nxs7
  Replies (0) Good night (1220) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa http://tfl.nu/xvlh
  Replies (6) Good night (790) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option. http://tfl.nu/ikne
  Replies (3) Good night (401) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened. http://tfl.nu/a50c
  Replies (3) Good night (671) Bad night (312)

Randomize