Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.