Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
