this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
