after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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