You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
