Already got asked if we're dating
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
