no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
