i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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