On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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