I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
