There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
