Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
