I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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