I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
