I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize