two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i will never coherently bang her
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
