she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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