normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
