YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
