Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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