worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Are we still banned from the library?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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