some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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