Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
