i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
